7/5/2023 0 Comments Street smarts john mulaneyWell, in that split-second, that's when he's going to stab you. What do you do? You go fumbling for your wallet. Hey, maybe that eight-year-old with the goddamn Aladdin wallet that only has blank photo laminate pages in it will be able to help.” “Let's say a guy pulls a knife on you to mug you. Street Smarts! Let's say a guy pulls a knife on you to mug you.” You remember the scourge of muggings when you were in second and third grade. I will share some of the tips with you this evening. He would give us tips to deal with crime. Street Smarts!” That was the general tone. So Bittenbinder came every year with a program to teach us about the violent world waiting for us outside the school gym, and that program was called Street Smarts! “Time for Street Smarts with Detective JJ Bittenbinder. But once you write it, it stays in the act forever. He could look at a child and guess the price of their coffin. He was a man most acquainted with misery. He was the weirdest goddamn person I ever saw in my entire life. But, instead, he made his living in murder. He looked like he should be the conductor on a locomotive powered by confetti. He did not look like his job description. None of that matters, but it's important to me that you know that. Two years in a row, he wore a cowboy hat. By the way, Detective JJ Bittenbinder wore three-piece suits. Okay, c'est la vie, go be kids, go have fun. And they may just have to kill you over it. And he's looking at you in the eye to tell you for the first time in your very young life that some adults find you incredibly attractive. So try being seven years old and you're sitting five feet away from him. Very sorry, Radio City, did that make you uncomfortable? Well, guess what? You're adults and he's not even here. He was a child homicide expert and… Oh, gee. He was from the Chicago Police Department. We had the same Stranger Danger speaker every year when I was a kid, his name was Detective JJ Bittenbinder. You are gathered together as a school and you are told never to talk to an adult that you don't know and you are told this by an adult that you don't know. Stranger Danger by John Mulaney on Kid Gorgeous at Radio City (2018) The greatest assembly of them all, once a year, Stranger Danger.
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